Little Heroes

(My three cubs: Christian, Caitlyn & Hannah)

 Everyone has a hero or someone that they look up to. Maybe it is someone who gave you some good advice or was there to listen when no one else would. Someone who showed you that you can conquer the world, and you can do it alone. For California trial lawyer, David Boies, that person was his father.

Mr. Boies father moved his family to California from Illinois over 50 years ago. Neither parent had a job or home awaiting them. However, Mr.Boies says the best way to teach someone to make right choices is to lead through example.

Mr. Boies claims his father was always hard working and doing the right thing. David Boies father was a high school history teacher but always had many second jobs, (not only to add to the income but in search of a challenge as well). These second jobs include: selling World Book Encyclopedias, working at Sears and driving a bakery truck.

David Boies, after 40 years of practice, now has his own law firm in a Los Angeles loft, and he credits all of his success to the lessons his father instilled in him during his youth.

However, my hero, my light in the darkness hasn't gone out to conquer the world yet. In fact, she hasn't even graduated middle school yet. My hero is of a smaller proportion with a giant heart.

My 12 year old sister has shown me the way I need to be when no one else could, when she didn't even realize that she had. I've made mistakes, everyone has, but there's nothing worse than the look on her face and the sadness in her eyes when she's disappointed in me. She's the only person in the world it seems, sometimes that I have enough respect for, not to do things I know I shouldn't, just as a slap in the face.

My sister looks up to me, I'm her role model! It even says so on her myspace. If there's one thing I shouldn't be, it's a role model, but there's no one else I'd be prouder of to have look up to me.

Sometimes when I see her or when I talk to her and we have a real conversation, about something other than Hannah Montana, I catch a glimpse of that innocence in her. The same kind all of us used to have and it makes me happy to know that there is still good in the world, and that it's in her.

I've also realized how brave she is. I mean, anyone can walk out the door in the morning with a scowl on and an "I hate the world" attitude. But it takes something more than that to be happy and friendly and kind. I'm not always great at that, but she gives me hope that it'll happen.

I realize she won't be a child forever, but the crazy thing is, she has the power and the mind set of bringing her child-like wonder and happiness into her adolescence and probably the rest of her life. Even at 12, I had already made horrible mistakes and choices. I wish I could take them back, but then I think of how she would never do the things I've done and it's not so bad.

The last straw, the mistake that she witnessed first hand and what brought me back from everything hurt her so badly. She wouldn't speak to me for days and at the time I didn't care. Now, if I had one chance to do something over, that would be it.

She makes me want to live life better, the way it's supposed to be, not only for myself but other people as well. It sometimes amazes me that with everything I've done, I'm still
her light in the dark. Ironically enough, she's my hero because I'm hers. (written by Caitlyn for Hannah)

Til Next Time, sassy v 

My muse has been kind to me of late. He has made himself known in a variety of ways. Sometimes in a song, sometimes in casual conversation, sometimes in quiet moments of reflection. Right now he is showing me the pitfalls of some of my writers blocks. Some of this I already knew, some are divine epiphanies.

I have always known that I write more creatively when I suffer from depression or angst. Not unusual for poets. That doesn’t mean that they are great works of art or that others find my work appealing. They are usually pieces that are more personally satisfying to me, which is the main objective anyway. Personal gratification. We all suffer from narcissism to some degree.

My greatest stumbling blocks are when I go through periods of confusion, self doubt or conflict with people that I love dearly. It immerses me in negativity and my muse abhors drama. Especially senseless drama. As was so eloquently stated by the infamous Rodney King, “can’t we all just get along”?

Long ago I saw my world in black and white. Over the years these have burred into a million hues of grey. My time lines were different as well. My visions and goals were always long term. The fairy tales always ended in ‘happily ever after’. Now my days are narrowed down to brief segments. One moment at a time.

I have learned to let go of the expected and just accept each moment as it comes. If someone says ‘I love you’ even once and you believe it even for a second, is it less important than being loved for a lifetime? And even if they aren’t sincere about it, is it less real if you allowed yourself to feel like it was?

Is the passion and fire that lies deep within a soul less precious if it remains untouched and unshared as long as you know it is there along with the depth of emotion that you know you are capable of? Just as the sun, moon and stars need to shine in their appointed time, so does the human soul. Some are like seasons; predictable, dependable. Others are like glorious comets, brilliantly illuminating a dark world for only a brief moment, but the beauty of that moment stays with you for a lifetime.

In a world that has become cold and cynical, where does the poet find a home? How does one find the catalyst that ignites those passions and fires and restores the hopes and dreams?

I have also come to suspect that my Muse is allied with the demons that I battle. My Muse strokes my psyche, offering outward expression of the inner battles, torments and turmoil that rage within. During these periods come the revelations into self and others. It is a torturous process that usually ends with a brief season of inner calm and peace. A season where clarity reigns supreme and there is a time of tranquil self reconciliation.

Unfortunately the cycles are a bit unbalanced, but I am learning to listen to the voices that speak to me in kinder gentler ways. No one can beat me up better than I can beat myself. Some see me as deep, others shallow, some see me as intelligent and witty, others as humorless and dim. Regardless as to how I am viewed by others at the end of the day I am only accountable to myself and God. And I pray He be merciful.

Til next time,

Love, sassy v 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N84vmz9WzMA

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

What is darkness? What is fear?

As the night approaches near.

Shadow phantoms dance with glee

As the daylight turns to flee

What talisman can save the one

Who most assuredly will come undone?

Who dances with demons and tempts her fate,

Will she find her salvation a day too late?

Who's the Master and who's the slave

Once one is claimed by the frigid grave.

Life so fragile, life so sweet

Now becomes the worms foul treat.

Seek the light and seek the day,

For they illuminate the way.

Where birds sing sweet and flowers grow

Along cold stones all in a row.

© sassy_vixen1 2007               

May the muse of your destiny be kinder and more merciful.

Til next time...sassy_v1  

Heaven's Fallen Angel

© sassy_vixen1 2007               

There comes a point in every field of study that you have to take the class room knowledge that you have acquired and put it into practical application. You don’t HAVE to of course. You can be one of those people that make a career out of going to college and changing your major just before you get a degree so that you never have to leave the safety of what you have become accustomed to and go out into the real (and very scary) world.

My blogging began just a little over two years ago. I still have my sassy_vixen1.brave journal.com site as well as the new myspace site. I no longer go back & read those early entries. The lessons in those entries have been both added to and lessened. For an extended season I spent a lot of time observing others. More times than not there were things that would occur that I just could not fathom. Eventually I would meet someone that could put things in perspective for me.

It’s funny how the mind works. The checks and balances, the defense mechanisms. I’m not sure that I’m any farther ahead now than before I started. There are so many contradictions. One person explained it to me like this: There are two people standing 21 yards apart. Both people walk 10 yards toward each other. But there always remains that extra yard. A safe distance.

All the lessons that I have learned from others I am now turning inward. Parts of it leave me confused, others hurt, others uncomfortable, some hopeful, some hopeless, some happy, some sad. I have processed the information but I am left clueless as to what to do with it. I realize that I share these things with my children, my family, my friends. It still feels like a piece is missing from the puzzle.

I was raised in a very sheltered environment. There came a day when I was so curious about “what more” could be out there that I made a journey to lands that I had never explored before. Opened doors that it would have been better to have remained closed. Along the road I lost bits and pieces of myself and replaced them with, I don’t know what.

Maybe someone can explain a few things to me. These are still unanswered questions in my head. Everyone that I know tells me that I have great big old (emotional) walls. Those same people would tell you that I am the type of person that would do whatever I could to help a friend or a stranger in any capacity that I was needed. If I have ever been hurt it has been because I placed myself in a position to allow someone to do that. I am sympathetic, empathetic, caring, giving. How does that compute to having walls??? What else do people want? What else is there?

I know this is going to catch me some flack, but here goes. If I truly had to put a name to the type of friend that I am, it would be a “Lone Ranger” type of friend. I’m the one that waits in the wings and when someone is in need, I ride in, do my thing then ride back out to wait in the wings until I‘m needed again. There is something about that that doesn’t feel right, but I honestly don’t know why. Everyone knows that I am the one that can be counted on. Is there more to the equation that I am missing or is that the way it’s supposed to be?

Here’s one to pick sides on. I got into an animated conversation over a statement that I made. That others don’t effect my universe. I don’t mean the physical stuff, like if a drunk driver hits and kills me. That’s a given. They end your universe as you know it. I mean the here and now emotional universe. One on one. If someone decides to walk out of your life, so be it. It changes nothing in the rest of my world. People that wish to stay in it, wonderful. Those that choose to bail, ok. How can you “make” someone stay in your life if they don’t want to be there???

One person expressed it to me that there are people that they want in their life but they want them to work at it. If this person tries to walk away they want the other person to come after them. It shows them that the other person really wants them in their life. That’s some serious false mixed signals right there. Back to the last yard. Why go that last yard if the other person doesn’t want you there? How do you know if they do or they don’t? This persons response to that was, what difference does it make? Why not take the chance and see what comes of it.

You have GOT to be joking!!! Why start down a dead end road? I don’t subscribe to the ‘tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all’. That’s just a load of crap that benefits one and harms the other.

Why take the time to show someone a glimpse of how things could be just to pull the rug out from under them? That’s cruel. The time and place that someone can ripple your universe is in that last yard.

All that being said, the last yard still holds an attraction as well as an aversion. The time has expired that the last yard could have been accessible. That’s the part that I struggle with. It’s easy to ignore it while it is available but once it has become fenced off all you can do is look at it and think of the “what if’s” that are now out of reach. It’s just all bittersweet nostalgia. Nothing more.

Til next time…. Love, sassy v 

THE FRAY LYRICS

"How To Save A Life"

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Dear God,

Many months ago I sat in my car, looking out over a black lake, the moon shining brightly and I cried and prayed for a miracle. As  months progressed, things have gone from bad to worse. There is so much pain now for so many. The people closest to me know bits and pieces of this terrible time that my children and I are going through. It is tearing my family apart.

Lord, please don’t let me be so lost in my own pain that I forget the pain of others. Please don’t let me forget the tears that others are shedding as well. Father, please give comfort to those who have suffered great losses, for there are many Father, more than I know, but You have Your eyes on each and every one. Please don’t let my heart become so callous with my own fear and pain that I no longer have compassion for them.

God, each of us in our own way have contributed to the events swirling out of control around us. Lord, You see the bigger picture, the end result of the course that we are all on. Father, I once again am asking You for a miracle. I pray for a hedge of protection around my children. Like a rebellious child I tried to resolve things in my own way, with my own understanding. Look where that’s gotten me. Nowhere.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." [Romans 8:28] I cannot make myself believe that everything that we are experiencing now does not serve a greater purpose. It would be too tragic if it didn’t. You created a universe full of marvels and mysteries out of chaos. This time of sorrow and chaos for so many is not too great for You to deal with. Me, on the other hand, this is turning into a basket case. It’s time to let go and let the Master take the reins.

It’s been a long time since I believed in anything. But the one thing that I do still believe in is You. Father, please grant me a miracle for Christmas. It’s all I want and all I need. A miracle for me and my children.

Christmas is a time of miracles. The love You give is a miracle. All Your blessings both great & small are miracles. Turning a a lump of coal into a diamond is a miracle. If it doesn't crack under the pressure, it becomes a rare & treasured jewel. Thank You for all the miracles You have already blessed me with. All I ask, is this one particular miracle. Honestly, I don't even know what it might be. Please also grant me the wisdom to know it when I recieve it.

For those that read this entry, please join me in praying for a miracle.

Dear God, thank You ahead of time for my miracle. I know it’s on its way. And Happy Birthday!!

Love,

sassy

Life can be so fast paced and hectic that it is very easy to forget the important things in life. As cheesy as the old soap opera opening is, “as sands through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives”. Or something like that. I dunno, I was a General Hospital junkie in my youth. But I think you get the picture.

When I have a minute to stop and take notice of the world around me, the surest way to mark the passing of time is to look at my children. I mean REALLY look at them. Where did the babies go that I used to hold for hours while they slept? Where are the cherubic toddlers that used to laugh and dance and sing, from sun up to sunset? Where did the cuddly little critters wander off to that came to me for kissing boo-boos and drinks of water? Oh, for the days that the biggest crisis in my house was a glass of spilled milk or if it was time to take the training wheels off. Somewhere along the line they crossed over into adolescence and puberty.

The ‘Exorcist’ holds no terror once a teen takes over your child’s body. Dr. Spock’s book should be replaced with copies of Bill Cosby’s video, ’Bill Cosby, Himself.’ I have yet to meet the parent(s) that hasn’t uttered (even if it was under their breath) “I brought You into this world, I can take you out!!!”

There have been weddings, births and deaths in my circle over the past few months. I have been going through one of those introspective phases of late. I don’t mind when there is an epiphany that materializes shortly into it. But, I’m still waiting on it. My children will be gone in a few short years, starting lives of their own. I don’t think I will suffer from empty nest syndrome, but I will have choices to make. What will I do with the rest of my life?

Will I take a second job? Or get a different job? Will I continue my education? Will I do more charity work? Will I finish the novel I started? Will I relocate or stay where I am? Will I get a dog? What does my future hold? The highway is an open road for all of us and we sit squarely in the drivers seat. Some days I wish I had a crystal ball. Others, I’m content to watch life as it unfolds just as life has a way of doing.

No matter what my choices are, I will embrace the adventure. There are some things that one needs to leave behind in order to go forward. It’s just excess baggage. Other things, no matter how heavy they may seem from time to time, are necessary for the journey. They need to be kept close every step of the way.

I wrote a poem a few years ago for a very dear friends birthday. He told me that when He passed away, if He went before I did, He wouldn’t mind at all if I wrote a poem for Him. I told Him that I think poetry is like flowers. They are for the living, not the dead. So, I wrote Him His poem now. He told me that He has left instructions that the poem is to be cremated with Him. Kinda morbid stuff but really very sweet and touching if you think about it. Our friendship means a great deal to both of us. It doesn’t get any better than that.

I’ve had a few more requests for poems from friends on their demise. Not really something I like to think about, but obviously we are a practical lot in the mid-west. As I told my dear friend, nothing should ever be reserved for “just the right moment.” It should all be enjoyed “in the moment.”

In honor of all my friends, old and new, I would like to share my poem with you. It will be published this summer. I hope you enjoy it.

Til next time.... Love, sassy v  

© sassy vixen1 2006

A simple Man, A simple life,

Loving children, loving wife.

So many friends down through the years,

To share His joys, His trials, His tears.

Like lightening bugs on a summer’s eve,

When the setting sun quietly takes His leave,

Brightening the dusk with a soft sweet light,

As the hurried day becomes placid night.

Such simple bliss is a Man’s desires,

As His soul grows weary and his body tires.

He longs for the fragrance of new mown grass

And fresh brewed tea in a frosted glass.

The scent of the Earth after a summer’s rain,

A cacophony of thunder in sweet refrain,

A child cradled in slumbering bliss,

The lingering memory of a youthful kiss.

More blessings he holds than he can perceive,

Like lightening bugs on a summer’s eve.

Filling the sky in the dusky light,

A simple Man, filled with simple delight.

Hello!! It has been a very long time since I last posted in this blog. So much has happened in these many months. So many lessons that I have learned and so many more in the making. I asked and was given permission to relate the following story.

Tis spring and as always, many young (and not so young) fancies turn to romance, amour, LOVE. One night I went to a “Tupperware” party, aka “Ladies Night Out“. The game of the night was to write down our most heart-felt fantasy and then one of the ladies would read them out loud and we had to guess which fantasy belonged to which woman. Needless to say, I was quite impressed with some of the imaginations there.

One of the fantasies at first seemed very simplistic to me. The more I thought about it though, I realized that there are two kinds of fantasies. There’s the kind where you dream of inheriting a gadzillion dollars, a castle in a foreign country, fifty-two hundred thousand servants to fulfill your every whim, a personal trainer that will give you a body that countries would go to war over and a handsome exotic pool boy (legal age of course) with an unpronounceable name that gives great back massages. It’s fun to let your mind wander there on occasion, but is as likely to happen as I am to get a date with Shepard Smith. It just ain’t gonna happen.

Then there are the fantasies that one can envision with a certain amount of hope that at some point in time, it is actually going to play out in the realm of real life experience. It was a sweet fantasy with a hint of Hollywood theatrics. Vixenrella’s fantasy was that the fox of her dreams would come waltzing into her place of employment, all rakish-like and take her away from the ho-hum life of retail and single-hood. Yup, you have it, something out of ‘An Officer and A Gentleman’. What woman wouldn’t love that? The Fox their heart yearns for making a public declaration of his love, staking His claim and whisking her away to His den. Makes the ol’ heart go pitty-patter, doesn’t it?

For such fantasies to become reality there have to be some elements in place to make them viable. First and foremost, there has to be a Fox in the picture. Figments of the imagination never waltz in public. Ok, maybe they do, but no one else sees them. You don’t dare point them out to anyone unless you are prepared for a date with several people all wanting to gift you with a lovely new white jacket. Custom fitted of course, but hardly designer quality.

So what’s the point? You have to have real flesh & blood human beings to have a true romantic moment. Otherwise they just comment on the exit interview, ‘walked off the job’. That in itself is no big deal. It happens in companies everyday. No one takes notice or remembers those that have suddenly terminated their gainful employment nor does it have the flavor of a Lifetime movie moment.

Secondly, said Fox has to have the soul of a poet, a touch of the romantic, a hint of the quixotic. People may stop and take notice if Billy Joe Jim Bob drives up in His rusty pick-up truck, coon dogs hanging off the tail gate, rebel flag in the back glass blowing in the breeze, Hank Williams Junior blaring on the radio, honking His horn and yelling, “Hurry up Gal! The race is about start and we still have to stop by the liquor store for more beer!!” Doesn’t have the same romantic effect now does it?

Last, but not least, a vixen has to make her wishes known. As much as we would like to think that the deepest desires of our hearts can be communicated through subtle hints and strategically dropped suggestions, again, IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN. State what you want and be specific. Go into graphic detail and use lots and LOTS of words. Paint them a picture and while you’re at it, try your very best to make them think it was THEIR idea from the get-go. If He’s open and willing, it won’t be as hard to accomplish as you think.

The lovely Vixenrella has A) a Fox, B) a Fox with a sense of romance, style and adventure, and C) knows what she wants, needs and desires from life and a Mate, and is able to effectively communicate these things. I can hear the strains of “Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong” even now.

Life has not always been kind to Vixenrella. She’s gone through some very tough circumstances and kissed a few hounds along the way. I think that’s part of the fairy tale, too. You really know when a Fox has trotted into your life if you have a few hounds to compare Him to. He will do His best to heal and cherish your heart, not take it for granted and break it.

It’s been a joy to watch Vixenrella’s transformation since her Fox came into her life. She glows with an inner light. She smiles and laughs a lot. There is a softer, yet tougher aura about her. He lends to her an additional strength. It is obvious that He “completes” her. I’m sure she does all things for Him as well.

Vixenrella hoped against hope that her fantasy would come true, but He never really confirmed or denied that it would. Many a vixen has been promised the fulfillment of many a dream, only to find out it was all a pipe dream. All promise, no substance. She knew she was leaving the company and as her last day wore on it looked more and more like her dream would remain just that, a dream.

And then it happened. Her handsome Fox waltzed (figuratively of course) into the store, entourage in tow, dressed smartly in His uniform, carrying an armload of red roses. She came back to say her final good-byes, arm-in-arm with her Foxy Beau, wearing His cap, arms filled with long-stemmed red roses and the most beatific smile you have ever seen. I think Mona Lisa and Paula would have been envious. Kudos to Officer Fox!!

It’s hard to discount the fairy tale when you see a version of it unfolding in front of your eyes. When she had almost given up hope, hope found her, right where she was at. My congratulations and best wishes to Sir Officer Fox and Vixenrella. WAY TO GO!!

Til next time... Love, sassy v  

© sassy vixen1 2006

“The more one does and sees and feels, the more one is able to do, and the more genuine may be one's appreciation of fundamental things like home, and love, and understanding companionship.” ~Amelia Earhart

“At the end of what is called the "sexual life" the only love which has lasted is the love which has everything, every disappointment, every failure and every betrayal, which has accepted even the sad fact that in the end there is no desire so deep as the simple desire for companionship.”~ Graham Greene

“When people are lonely they stoop to any companionship.” ~ Lew Wallace

I found this picture while surfing card sites. I was absolutely enchanted with it. It has an aura of warmth, comfort, relaxation. Two people obviously comfortable with one another, being together in companionable silence for the moment, comfortable in their closeness.

Outside the fortress walls, the night has fallen on the world. Darkness reigns. But inside the fortress of trust, friendship, companionship, love; the light shines brightly and with great warmth. The walls are strong, straight and unbroken. There is no fear or mistrust. There is an absence of weapons. There is only peace and serenity.

This could be a moment between two lovers or it could be a moment between two friends. He is stroking her hair and adding His own closeness and warmth to the moment. As close as He is, His words must be spoken softly, soothingly, comfortingly. He may be in love with her, or He may care for her on a deeply compassionate level. Either way, He is offering her something special of Himself.

The flowers add a sweet fragrance to the tableau. Deep friendships, moments of true com-passion are miracles to hold close and relish. There is a bonding that takes place that over time becomes a cherished memory, like a flower pressed between the pages of a scrape book.

Some things are eternal. As the nights grow colder and longer, may the fire in your heart kindle with companionship of all kinds. The world is truly a beautiful place to be.

Til next time...Love, sassy v

© sassy vixen1 2005

Give It Away~ Michael W. Smith

She asked him for forever
And a promise that would last
He said, "Babe, you know I love you
But I can't commit to that"
She said "Love isn't love
'Til you give it away"
A father lived in silence
Saw his son become a man
There was a distance felt between them
'Cause he could not understand
That love isn't love
'Til you give it away
You gotta give it away

[Chorus:]
As we live
Moving side by side
May we learn to give
Learn to sacrifice

We can entertain compassion
For a world in need of care
But the road of good intentions
Doesn't lead to anywhere
'Cause love isn't love
'Til you give it away
You gotta give it away

[Chorus:]
As we live
Moving side by side
May we learn to give
Learn to sacrifice

[Bridge:]
Love is like a river
Flowing down from the giver of life
We drink from the water
And our thirst is no longer denied
You gotta give it away
Chorus

There was a man who walked on water
He came to set the people free
He was the ultimate example
Of what love can truly be
'Cause his love was his life
And he gave it away
You gotta give it away

[Chorus:]
As we live
Moving side by side
May we learn to give
Learn to sacrifice

I appreciate the feed back on my blog entries. It becomes more of a dialog, an exchange of ideas. The last one that I got was excellent. It brought out some very good points. I am responding to it with an entry because I think it deserves one.

First of all, kudos to Your mother. She obviously did a great job to inspire such passion in Your response. There could have been nothing easy about raising six children alone. That would be considered a difficult task even in a two parent household. She would most definitely fall into the “highest order of vixendom” category.

I do believe that a vixen momma (one that’s worth her salt anyway) will do anything for her pups. They may not like some of the choices she makes for them. She may not like some of the choices she has to make. But, if she has her pups best interests at heart, she will do whatever it takes to raise them to be responsible adults. They may make horrible choices sooner or later, but if she has done her best, that is all anyone can ask.

I agree whole heartedly with the “slug” comment. I previously referred to them as “parasites”. A blood-sucking parasite, slug, leech, whatever label we wish to bestow on them, is still that. They do exist. We all probably know at least one. I suppose they do have their place in the vixen food chain, because if they didn’t exist, we could take the term ‘co-dependency’ out of our vernacular. All of us that fall into the “savior” mentality would have to get a new hobby. Even a slug can teach you a valuable lesson in life. You cannot save people that don’t want to be saved! When you realize you have run across one...RUN LIKE HELL!!!

I also agree that aid should be dispensed and monitored on local levels. There are already reports of parasitical beings trying to scam agencies out of funds. Wasn’t that a surprise to hear? What I don’t agree with is, if we don’t help the destitute they will rob us. I don’t believe that the looters stealing TV’s and Nike shoes were doing it to alleviate hunger in their households. I can’t think of a soul that I know that would have criticized anyone for going into the stores that were opened and taken food, water or essentials for survival until rescuers could arrive. As big an imagination as I have (and trust me, it is considerable) even I can’t envision a showcase being wheeled down the middle of the street being placed over a bar-b-que pit and served up with a couple of cartloads of stolen booze.

The people that they showed on the news carting away as much stuff as they could get their hands on seemed pretty healthy and able-bodied from where I was sitting. Most even had a merry air of glee about them. I have worked in retail almost my entire working life. It’s a very rare thief that steals food for their hungry pups at home out of desperation. Most even have enough money on them to pay for the goods that they have been caught lifting. I know people that have fallen into extreme dire straights. They wouldn’t steal anything from anyone on a bet. Those people stole because it is in their baser nature. I would be willing to bet dollars to donuts that those people were thieves BEFORE the hurricane ever formed.

Our government does support big business and corporations. As well as small businesses and individuals. WE support businesses big and small. That’s what capitalism and consumerism is all about. When a big business comes into a community there are outcries that they will put the small businesses out of business. What puts a business out of commission is where the local people choose to spend their money. If the locals don’t spend their money in their own community, through their own short-sightedness they are crippling their own local economy.

There are several local businesses that I frequent even though I pay a higher price for their goods. One is a mom and pop grocery store. I have known these people all my life. They are an awesome family. I believe in spending my money locally and responsibly. Sometimes being supportive and responsible means paying the higher price to keep that business viable.

One thing people seem to over look, business is just that, business. It’s nothing personal. Economics 101: make money. A responsible company will look after it’s workforce. The most valuable asset that any company has is the people that work for them. If you don’t take care of the customer that walks through your doors, they have the right to spend their money somewhere else. It’s all about choices and personal responsibility. People have no problem swapping one partner for another, why would they think twice about where they choose to spend their money?

I am more concerned with the companies that are pulling up and moving operations to China, Mexico and Timbucktwo. The companies that are filing bankruptcy and leaving lifetime employees without insurance, benefits, a paycheck, and in some cases accounts that the employees invested their own money into. The government had better be concerned with big business because that is the base of the American economy. Without a solid economy the entire country will be hip deep in the stuff that is being shoveled out of New Orleans.

I also have a wee little problem with the way some American organizations (churches in particular) deal with foreign missions. Do I believe in helping those less blessed? Absolutely. Do I believe in taking care of local families first? Absolutely. Do I think some of the people involved do it with a smug, self-righteous attitude? Absolutely. These are probably the same kind of people that made your mother cry. They claim the Masters name, yet forget to adapt His attitude. It’s what makes them feel secure.

Here’s the part that will get me into the most hot water. “I think you are wrong in assuming that most people on state aid just want to be on state aid.” I re-read my posting and nowhere did I make that statement. Let me clarify by making this one: I don’t assume that most people on state aid want to be on state aid. I do know for a fact SOME do want to be on it. They are few and far between, but they are there. I know people that have gone in and applied for aid and they were told to quit their jobs. They could receive greater assistance if they were unemployed. I know a few that went to great lengths to get assistance claiming disability. It’s amazing the activities they could participate in after they got their disability through. But that isn’t everyone. Most are legitimately disabled and in need of assistance. Unfortunately, a few give the majority a bad reputation.

I have worked with people and support organizations for YEARS. I know people that were turned down for aid that they desperately needed because medical bills were eating them alive but they made too much money in a years time to receive assistance and they weren‘t allowed to subtract their medical expenses. Maybe they had a few bucks in a savings account or owned property that disqualified them. All the agency was interested in was the cash flow in, not the cash flow numbers out and the reasons behind them. There is a serious flaw in the system. At no point did I say that everyone is out to work and/or cheat the system. I didn’t even say most. But yes, whether we want to believe it or not, this is not a perfect world, not everyone is decent, honest and hard working. It’s one of the saddest facts of life.

I am about to leave the domain of bad and go straight into the realm of worse. I am very well aware of the fact that most people on government assistance are working single mothers. You didn’t mention Your Father when speaking about Your mothers plight. A widowed vixen with six young pups would unarguably have a nightmare of a time making ends meet. The churches were given specific instructions to take care of widows and orphans. (I reckon if they live in a third world tropical country, they would probably get it). Maybe some of the righteous right got confused and thought separation of church and state meant that they could split the responsibilities for the flock with the state and they got to pick first at what they did and didn’t want to do.

Unfortunately widowhood isn’t the economic predicament for the vixens of the world (and yes, some Foxes and hounds as well). As in the below noted reference, the major contributing factor to poverty in a single mother household is, obviously, the absence of a father or a second adult in the home willing to help pay the bills. There are the flat out dead beat dads and moms. There are the ones that get by with minimal support payments. Lack of support or lack of adequate support is not the fault of the parent left to raise the kids.

See if there is logic in this reasoning. Say a woman (or man) is raising three kids alone. That parent is one of four people in the household. Three other people also have need of shelter, use the utilities, use all goods in the house (shampoo, deodorant, toilet paper, ect.) Factor in clothes, school lunches, book rental, all the little extras that are needed in the classroom that come up during the school year. Even if a doctors visit isn’t made sometimes there is still the unexpected cost of over the counter medications. We won’t even go into things like childcare or a few extra bucks for entertainment or money for social functions (for the kids) of any type. It is all the hidden out-of-pocket costs that places stress on a single parents finances. Add to that, statistically women have less earning power than men. And heaven forbid your child get sick and you have to miss work. The custodial parent is usually the one that takes that hit. Loss of income for any reason is not reimbursed.

There is a plethora of fine men and women that take full responsibility for the cost of raising their children financially (whether together or apart). Unless a death has occurred, more than likely, if a single parent is struggling, the root cause can probably be traced back to an unequal sharing of the financial responsibilities for the children. Please note, I did not say always. Factor in a man that has children with more than one woman and logically the ratio that He is able to contribute to his children declines.

We have come full circle in this discourse. There are choices to be made and personal responsibility for those choices. Some, not ALL, make poor choices that place burdens on those that they should be accountable for. When this happens, they have to look somewhere. The deity with the seemingly bottomless wallet appears to be Uncle Sam. He isn’t allowed to ask any questions. Just hand over the hard cold cash. It makes it easier for irresponsible people to remain neglectful of their duties. It also places a stigma on those that truly do need aid and support through no fault of their own.

Give and give generously, seeking no reward but the satisfaction of giving. Take only when necessary and only the essentials. If both groups take this approach, all other arguments become null and void.

Til next time...Love, sassy v

© sassy vixen1 2005

http://www.heritage.org/Research/Welfare/BG1713es.c